Kenny the Counselor : The Safe Harbor Counseling Center

Some counselors tend to specialize in specific techniques. They become masters of a particular style or specialize in a specific age group or condition that they treat. Others remain more generalized, treating many different types of clients with many different types of therapies, theories, and modalities. As you might guess from the earlier pages of my site, I tend to be pretty generalized. This works best for me, and when I am at my best, my clients benefit. Being able to work in many different styles and modalities, and with different age groups and different conditions and situations, I am able to keep a fresh attitude and approach. Though I really like working with just about everyone, I do have my strong points and my weak points. If I feel that I am not a good fit with a client I will refer them to some one I respect in our field that I know is strong in the area the client would best benefit from.

One aspect of counseling that I don't generally work with is sex abuse perpetrators. I also don' usually work with domestic violence abusers or child abuse perpetrators. These are what I consider to be highly specialized areas that should be referred to people who really know these clients well. If I was to work with this population, I feel I would have to work with this group full time in order to best help those clients.

I also do work a good deal with the victims of abuse from domestic violence partners to their children. I work well with these clients and prefer to focus on them.

Another area I consider to be a strength is my work with post trauma clients, both veterans and civilians. I tend to use a few different techniques while working with these clients. I consider it a privilege to work with our Veterans, and I have always been impressed with each veteran that has come into my office. I find this population to be really a pleasure to work with and the progress they make is remarkable.

For kids, I use a combination of play therapy and talk therapy. Play therapy is much more than it sounds, however, play is the language of children. Many times what kids have trouble talking about they are able to play out. At times they use puppets, or artwork. At times they become so comfortable playing that the words just come out easier. It is so much easier for a puppet to share a secret with another puppet than it is for a child to talk about what they think they shouldn't talk about. This in itself is a major step toward their healing. Play therapy is how they practice being a person. I have a little suggestion for all people who have kids in their care. When you play with them, let them play their way. It doesn't always have to be by the "correct rules". Trains don't always have to go on a track. Some times dogs can fly, a block of wood is a car. Through their imagination, kids get to experiment and discover what works, and more importantly, they discover who they are. I have pretty good printouts about Play Therapy, ask me some time.

When we talk about modalities, we mean couples counseling, V.S. individual counseling, V.S. family counseling, vs. play therapy or group counseling. Different counselors of course have their preferences. Most of us agree that working with a couple is more difficult than working with an individual. However, working with a couple tends to be more dynamic, more vocal, and there are less quiet moments. The goal is usually shifted in couples counseling or family counseling. Though it all has something to do with relationships, working with individual counseling tends to focus on the person's own role, their own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, beliefs, tendencies... etc. In couples or family counseling, the dynamic between the partners is present in the room. Counselors can provide a safe place to voice differences in a controlled setting. We try to allow each person to be heard. We try to get communication unstuck. The key is communication and the most important aspect in communicating is not in speaking, it is in listening.

Deepak Chopra has written a couple of books that I recommend often. These are  two of my favorite books personally and they tend to offer different ways of looking at the world and at your life. Most people comment that they really get a lot out of these two. They are "The Book of Secrets"  (not to be confused with "The Secret")  And "Grow Younger, Live Longer"  I think both of these books by Dr. Chopra will help you do just that.

Eckhart Tolle has written two that I like as well. "The Power of Now"  and " A New Earth"  Like Deepak Chopra's books, they are somewhat eastern in their philosophy, a bit on the spiritual side, but not really religious. Many people say these 4 books are enlightening. I personally agree.

Very interesting video is "What the Bleep do WE Know"  It is a DVD that comes either as a solo disc or an expanded 3 disc set. It is a good introduction to Quantum Physics, with a theatrical movie format. Marlee Matlin stars along with a slew of very understandable Quantum physicists.

Ok the internet, don't miss    "T E D"    TED.com   www.ted.com

TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. There are hundreds of short presentations (about 20 minutes or less) on just about everything fascinating in our universe from deepest space to the deepest oceans to brilliant child musicians, to people trying to solve the world's problems. There are talking chimps and birds. talks of life extension... on and on. Careful you just might find yourself spending hours on the internet....without playing a single video game. Don't miss Jill Bolte Taylor's description of her own stroke. Fascinating and humorous recollections of a neurologist.

NEW STUFF  !!!        (As of January 2012)

BOOKS:

Mapping The Mind: By Rita Carter

This is an amazing / facinating look at how our minds work, what is in our brains, how and why we think the way we do and how things are wired up inside our heads. This book gives you glimpses of how thoughts happen, why some thoughts cause emotional responses in our bodies. How do we see? How does some things "get us" angry (that is not how it really works) or cause us to be afraid? Why does our body react the way it does to things that are scary? I could go on and on, but this book helps explain why you are you. There are a hundred billion brain neurons in our heads that all fire electronic impulses, then release little chemecals called neurotransmitters that communicate things to other cells. That is how we do just about everything from dance, walk, sing and think. Very fun book!

Danial Siegel has several great books that I have read over the past few years that are at the top of my list. They include, "Mindsight",  "The Mindful Brain",  "The Mindful Therapist", "Parenting from the Inside Out"... Well you get the idea that I really like what he says and the way he writes it. All of those are well worth reading and I have gotten a lot out of them. So has many of my clients.

Integrity: By Dr. Henry Cloud

Integrity clarifies the definition of the word Integrity, so don't take this recommendation as an assault on your own sense of Integrity. However I think everyone would really benefit from reading this amazing book. It is easy reading, will make you smile often, and will open your eyes even more often. My new favorite!

Getting The Love You Want:   By Harville Hendrix

This is a good one to help understand why we pick the partners that we pick in our relationships. It also tells us a lot about how our parenting styles affects our kids, and how our parents affected us.

 Feeling Good:  by David Burns

This is a basic bood about Cognitive Behavioral therapy. Much of what I use to help my clients is echoed in this book. It is aimed at Depression it might seem, but really it is for everyone who wants to feel good! I give this book to all of my clients so if you come in, ask me for a copy.

Another by Deepak Chopra:  Life After Death: The Burden of Proof. 

I really like this one, expanding, thought provoking and calming all at once. 

Also check out; Look Me In The Eye, by John Elder Robinson

This one is about John who has been diagnosed with Asperger's.  Aspergers is a "condition" on the Autism spectrum. This is an easy to read, but great read on his life including being a sound technician and sound inventor for KISS the band. There are some real positives to having some asperger's traits as well as some difficult things to deal with. Along with some  of his genius tendencies, John has trouble with social skills. 

And:

To any one who feels they have a handle on our universe, or feels limited, or feels that we are alone, or holds their own belief in and definition of a god that they feel everyone else in the universe must share, take a few moments to contemplate the Hubble Telescope Deep Field Image. Also consider that on our own planet they recently discovered life that is based on Arsenic in Mono Lake. The point of this is the concept of Tolerance. It is my opinion that no one on our planet has all the answers. Different things work for different people. If everyone would allow for these differences more, we all would get along better and we all would be far happier.